What Our Bodies Are Made Of

I may have blogged about this before, but I am going to again.

Our bodies are made of countless universes of entities that have come together out of love to give us this experience.

As I was laying in bed this morning I was renewing a meditation I learned from Allison Rice at a women's retreat she hosted.  After a couple hours of kundalini yoga she had us all lay on the floor and  say, out loud, as we focused our attention on different parts of our bodies, "I bless myself, I am, I am."

I worried about being sacrilegious for a moment, but then I tried it to see what would happen.

As I said these words I was focusing on my right elbow and a vision opened up to me.  I saw that each tiny element of my body is alive, individually!  Each moving, living, aware, part, down to the billions and billions of universes of moving atoms, electrons, neutrons, and whatever else exists on that tiny scale, is aware, thinking, working, moving, living, and cooperating with the whole, to create my body, so I could experience this physical life in this physical body!  And to top it all off, these entities are doing this out of love!

I had been taught in my life that we exist in this physical world as part of a grand plan for our advancement, our learning, our development.  This vision showed me that there is much more to the grand plan than I had previously realized!  I had also been taught that we are never alone and this vision showed me that fact in a previously unimagined way.  Not only do we have guardian angels around us as well as other spiritual entities, we live within a cooperative of physical entities who have given us this opportunity to live, move, learn, affect and be effected by the world around us.

How beautiful is that!  How amazing that understanding makes me feel.  How much more of a group effort my life is than I had previously known.

This knowledge has helped me love my body more.  I love every part of my body now.  The wrinkles, the age spots, the fat cells doing their part, as well as the parts that make me beautiful to others.  My body has been with me my whole life!  My wonderful hands, my legs, my eyes, my heart.  I am so grateful for all of this!

I share because this is something that is not just for me.  Like the molecules in my body cooperate with each other, we can cooperate with each other, sharing insights and understandings, to help each other understand this life a little bit more.

Name of Blog reverting back to Spirit Dreamer at spiritdreamermeditation.blogspot.com

          After shifting all my blogs to my other site more dedicated to my art, life, horses, family, etc., I decided after awhile I need this site which is more dedicated to spiritual themes and things I have learned through meditation and contemplation.  This will be my outlet for these deeper, sacred glimpses, of eternal truths.  I do not mean those things that are personal to me, I mean those things that appear to be for anyone and every one.

New Website: micheleballantyne.com

Dear Friends,

I have created a new website/blog to micheleballantyne.com so for blogs about art, horses, my day to day life and family, please go there.

Thank you,

Spirit Dreamer

NEW BLOG I AM CREATING IN ADDITION TO THIS ONE

NEW BLOG: micheleballantyne.com

The reason for this new blog is because much of my focus has changed from taking classes and teaching meditation and blogging about my thoughts and life -- to creating art, selling it, and blogging about my thoughts and life (some things have not changed, ha ha).

In this blog I used the name Spirit Dreamer because I love it, and it was given to me when my kids were dancing with the Talako Indian Dancers here in Orlando.  Now I am going to use my actual name which is going to be my brand for the art I make.

The big change occurring in my life, that started this outward shift, is an inner shift from taking classes and learning about living and awareness for the past 10 years, from Tom Brown Jr. of Trackerschool (see trackerschool.com), Malcolm Ringwalt of Earth-Heart (see earth-heart.net), and Carl Direske of Wilderness Fusion (see wildernessfusion.com), to stepping into my own life in a new and exciting way.  Going within and trusting myself.  Praying for help as I proceed, to stay focused on the bright path; the joy I find in life; color; art; nature; and especially family.  I feel like I am graduating to life, prepared with a sense of self I had only questioned and wondered about before.

Funny how a 57 year old woman, mother of 9 children, grandmother of 12, can feel like she is only now stepping into herself.  Well, I can't say it was the first time.  I felt I was myself when I was younger, but life has a way of challenging everything you think you know and creating doubt and fear.  I guess all those classes was like a major tune up.  I think someone calls it "sharpening the saw".  Well, my saw was rusty and had a lot of broken teeth (maybe all broken teeth).  Now I feel like I've recreated my self in my own image, which was always there, only buried underneath all the negativity, judgements, should of's, could of's, and why didn'tcha's that I was bombarded with as I lived in that state of not really remembering and validating who I am.  I remembered I know more about me than anyone else, excepting maybe for God.

Life feels exciting now.  I can't say my conscious self can take the credit for the changes though.  I was recently in to see the neurologist to find out why I was having so much anxiety and nerve pain.  After talking with him, and some tests, he said he thinks I have Conversion Disorder, a condition that presents itself physically but is based on suppressed emotions.  In other words, the subconscious mind screams at a person through  physical symptoms because the person refuses to listen otherwise. It was only thanks to my subconscious mind that I had the gumption to change everything.  Now, with John's support I am moving with the kids to Oregon to be near my extended family, and the natural world I love outdoors there, and I am starting a business to give me an opportunity to try my hand at making art and marketing it.  Of course I am obsessing every day about it and having the time of my life!

My body is directing everything, including my thoughts.  When I think of the exciting things I am creating for my life, like colors in my artwork, being with my sisters and kids in Oregon, making a business doing art, I feel like my heart is glowing with warm light and happiness, but if my thoughts drift to negative, or even neutral thoughts, my body starts hurting all over and my chest feels like it has an aching black hole in it!  Not fun!  It's a no brainer.  I have to follow the path of what feels good.  If I don't, I don't want to even think of what might happen to my sweet, faithful body.  I love my body and want to take care of it, after all, it has been with me my whole life!!!

From now on this blog will focus solely on the more spiritual side of my life as it applies to what anyone could benefit from.

May you all be blessed and trust yourself as you connect with The Great Everything (one of my pet names for God).

"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up"-- a book review

I just finished reading a BEAUTIFUL book by Marie Kondo called

"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up."  

I highly recommend it.  I loved the sweet feeling as I read Marie's loving description on how to clean house.  She spoke to my resistance to decluttering in her gentle, understanding way, and brought a new spiritual dimension to cleaning that I found refreshing and freeing.

She looks upon all things with gratitude and love, and even letting go of things can be done with grace and thanksgiving.  Her perception that letting go of an unused item was freeing it to be of use to someone else, and that the item will be happier if it is used, was helpful to me.

When I saw there was a section on folding socks, my first reaction was "What, she even tells us how to fold socks?  That doesn't seem that important."  But that section turned out to be a very enlightening read, and one that I will never forget.

I will not give any more away with spoilers, but I have to recommend this book to everyone, and especially to those fellow hoarders out there who tend to keep things to the extent of bogging up down.

I have begun the process and I am loving it!  I plan to have some very cheap garage sales in November (I love to see peoples faces when they get really good deals!), to release all the items I have not been using, or that do not bring me joy, so they can be used again, loved again, and be happy!

Spirit Dreamer: How learning to train a horse translated to commun...

Spirit Dreamer: How learning to train a horse translated to commun...: Horse communication . . . Human communication The other day I went with my friend Pat to a training session for her new horse, Buster....

How learning to train a horse translated to communicating with my son!

Horse communication . . . Human communication

The other day I went with my friend Pat to a training session for her new horse, Buster.  Pat was hoping Marcie could teach us how to teach Buster better ground manners.  Buster, a four year old Tennessee Walking Horse, would get too close to us and would try to chew on us as if we were chew toys.  It took all my attention to keep his mouth off me when I led him around or held him for Pat to work on his feet.  I was not afraid of him because he felt like a baby to me, and there was no maliciousness in him.  He just wanted to put anything he could get ahold of into his mouth; including his lead rope, the rubber curry comb, plastic water bottles, spray bottles, etc.

Marcie, the trainer, taught us a lesson about communication that day.

First, before taking control of Buster, Marcie switched his regular halter, which had metal rings on it, to a training halter made only of rope.  The 10 foot lead rope, which was very soft, fat, and flexible, was tied to the halter.  This were no metal hooks or clips -- so the horse could not be hurt by any metal pieces hitting him in the face.  Then she said, “I’m going to take control now.”  

Marcie stepped out onto an open grassy area with Buster, who immediately reached down and nibbled some grass by Marcie’s feet.  She gently flicked his muzzle with the end of her soft lead rope and Buster jerked to attention as if to say, “What just happened here?”  Then Marcie walked toward Buster flicking the rope with her wrists in such a way to send little circles up the lead rope to Buster’s muzzle, on one side then the other, over and over until she had backed him up about 10 feet.  Then Marcie walked back toward us, almost to the end of the lead rope and stood talking to us, explaining that she wants to teach Buster some manners and she wants him to know right now that she does not want him that close to her.  Marcie’s demeanor was always calm and in control.  She explained how she is in better control about 5 or 6 feet away from the horse’s head rather than holding the lead rope right under his chin.  She showed us how to send a loop rolling up the soft lead rope toward Buster’s head.  She explained why there was no metal on the halter or rope.  All the while she was noticing Buster, though she didn’t appear to be paying him any attention.  When Buster would tentatively take a step forward towards her, she would correct him again by walking quickly and aggressively toward him sending her rolling loops up the rope to his head.  Once he had backed up she would walk back toward us and Buster would follow, but would stay at the end of the rope where she wanted him, and not come close to her.  Buster did not act afraid, or angry, he simply was paying attention.  

I was amazed at Marcie’s confidence and ability.  Here she was, I’m guessing about 5’2”, 110 pounds, making Buster practically sitting on his haunches to back away from her as she marched to him, flinging the soft rope exaggeratedly from one side to the other sending the loops to his head.  Of course, Marcie explained to us, each horse must be evaluated and treated according to what they need, based on their personality and their past history.  She would not use this correction on a horse who was fearful or had been abused; but for Buster, it works.

Clear or unclear.

Marcie explained how vitally important clear communication is with a horse.  She asked, “If you were at a job new, and your boss was explaining what was expected of you, would you want your boss to be clear in communicating or unclear?”

We answered, “Clear.”

Marcie asked, “Would you be happy that the communication was clear?”

We said, “Yes.”

Marcie asked, “Would you be happy if the communication was unclear?”

We said, “No.”

Marcie continued, “The horse is happier when the communication is clear too.  The horse gets confused when we are not clear, and when we are not consistent.  Is it fair to the horse when we are not clear and consistent?”

We said, “No.”

Marcie went on, “Is it fair to feed a horse from your hand one minute then get after him for mouthing or biting at your hand another minute?”

We said, “No.”

Marcie emphasized, “For this horse who is so mouthy, it is important to not feed him carrots or anything else from your hand.  He needs consistency to teach him not to bite or chew on you.  This is not only for your good, it’s for the good of the horse too.  If your horse does not learn this, he will have problems in the future.”  

As she was talking to Pat and I, I was having aha moments about my life and how I could improve my communication with the people in my life.

Marcie called these very clear corrections, which may seem exaggerated to us, “Shazam” moments.  She is communicating very clearly with the horse about what is OK and what is not OK.

She went on to work with the horse to complete the hour lesson.  She stopped and talked to us a lot, explaining things, while always training the horse.  Marcie’s talking to us and appearing to ignore the horse was part of the training because she expected the horse to not do anything unless she said he could.  Marcie gave pressure when she wanted movement and released pressure when she got movement, and corrected him with a Shazam, when he tried to approach her without permission.

I get home . . . and it translates . . .

When I got home that day, Ryan was playing video games.

I said, “OK Ryan, I’m home now, it’s time to get your math done.”

He responded rudely.  

I thought -- ‘Bad behavior,’ and said, “OK, you’re grounded (Shazam!).”   No arguing, no waiting

He looked at me.  

I walked away.  

He jumped up and got his math out and said, “OK, I’m ready.”  

I ungrounded him.  Just like with the horse, pressure, release, and Shazam for the wrong behavior.

(Horse pictured above is not Buster)